Many of us are taught explicitly or implicitly that putting others first is a sign of strength, goodness, or selflessness. And to some extent, it is. Caring deeply, being reliable, offering support these are all meaningful and valuable parts of being in relationship with others.

But what happens when this becomes a pattern that leaves no room for ourselves?

When we consistently prioritise other people’s needs, feelings, and expectations above our own, something quiet but significant can begin to happen: we lose touch with what we need, what we feel, and who we are.

That familiar feeling many of us face, no matter our skill level. The stress of wanting to deliver a flawless performance can trigger feelings of nervousness, self-doubt, and even physical reactions like shaking or feeling sick. Often we can consciously and logically know we have the skills, or practice level to go out there and play perfectly, but unconsciously, something happens deep in our psyche that plays havoc with our physical self.

Read More