A psychodynamic look at unconscious patterns in relationships

Have you ever found yourself saying, “Not again…” after yet another relationship—romantic, platonic, or professional—falls into the same uncomfortable pattern? Maybe it’s the emotionally unavailable partner, the friend who constantly takes but rarely gives, or the collaborator who starts off with charm and ends in chaos. Different faces, same feeling.

It’s easy to blame bad luck or external circumstances. But from a psychodynamic perspective, repetition in relationships is rarely accidental. Instead, these patterns often point toward something deeper: our unconscious mind quietly shaping the dynamics we’re drawn to—without us even realising it.

In my work as a psychotherapeutic counsellor—and as someone who also navigates the world as a musician—I’ve come to recognise some of the distinct needs creatives bring into the therapy room. This post explores how we, as therapists, can better hold space for those whose identities are entwined with creativity.

Being highly sensitive isn’t a flaw. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s simply a way of being — one where your nervous system is finely tuned, where you pick up on subtleties others might miss, and where your emotional depth runs deep.

Reclaiming your personal power and sense of control is crucial for bouncing back from burnout. Don’t wait to seek help—reach out to a health professional as soon as you can. Addressing issues early makes them easier to handle. Chat with your NHS GP and think about getting counseling. Therapeutic or skills-based support can really help you figure out who you are, how you operate, and what you need. Burnout often stems from challenging situations, especially related to work, so it’s important to work on improving your work environment. Set clear boundaries. Everyone has their own way of establishing boundaries, but knowing what you want and don’t want can help you manage your mental, physical, and creative energy better. Be explicit about what you will and won’t do, and clarify your responsibilities. If your boundaries have been crossed or weakened, it might be time to reinforce and communicate them again.

Artists often face significant physical and emotional challenges that require attention to their mental and physical health. By prioritising self-care, fostering a welcoming environment, and recognising signs of burnout early, musicians can maintain their creativity and performance quality while successfully navigating the demands of the music industry. These efforts contribute to a stronger and healthier music community overall.

That familiar feeling many of us face, no matter our skill level. The stress of wanting to deliver a flawless performance can trigger feelings of nervousness, self-doubt, and even physical reactions like shaking or feeling sick. Often we can consciously and logically know we have the skills, or practice level to go out there and play perfectly, but unconsciously, something happens deep in our psyche that plays havoc with our physical self.

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Mental Health Tips for Busy Professionals

In today’s fast-paced world, professionals often put their work before their well-being. Long hours, tight deadlines, and constant connectivity can take a toll on mental health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are practical strategies to help maintain balance and prevent burnout.