Don’t Ghost Yourself This Halloween
Sitting with Feelings: The Quiet Art of Being with Ourselves
In a world that moves fast and rewards distraction, sitting with our feelings can feel like swimming against the tide. Many of us are taught implicitly or otherwise that emotions are things to fix, suppress, or rationalise away. Yet when we pause long enough to notice what’s happening within us, we open the door to something far more healing than avoidance could ever offer.
Why It’s Hard to Sit Still
When difficult feelings arise; grief, anger, shame, anxiety. Our instinct is often to push them away. We might reach for our phones, pour another drink, bury ourselves in work, or tell ourselves to “get over it.” These strategies bring temporary relief, but the feelings don’t disappear; they wait, quietly, until they find another way to be seen.
This avoidance isn’t a moral failing, it’s a survival strategy. Many of us learned early on that strong emotions weren’t safe, welcome, or manageable. Sitting with our feelings can therefore feel threatening because it touches something deeply vulnerable.
What It Means to Sit with Feelings
To “sit” with feelings doesn’t necessarily mean to meditate or find instant peace. It’s an act of gentle presence, turning towards what’s there, rather than away. It might look like:
Taking a breath and naming what you’re feeling: sadness, anger, fear, confusion.
Allowing the sensations in your body to exist without judgment.
Noticing the urge to distract yourself, and choosing instead to stay for a few moments longer.
This practice invites a deeper kind of self-acceptance. When we allow feelings to unfold at their own pace, they often shift naturally. What once felt overwhelming can become something we understand, integrate, and even learn from.
Sitting Together
In therapy, this process often happens in relationship. Sometimes we need another person to help us stay present—to hold the feelings with us when they feel too heavy to face alone. In the therapeutic space, sitting with feelings becomes a shared act of compassion: a reminder that we don’t have to be alone with what hurts.
The Stillness Beneath the Storm
Over time, sitting with our feelings teaches us that emotions are not permanent states but passing weather. Beneath the movement and noise, there’s a steadiness within us that remains untouched. The more we practice being with ourselves in this way, the more we trust that we can survive the storm and perhaps even find meaning in it.
A Gentle Invitation
You might take a moment today to notice how you respond when a difficult feeling arises. What do you reach for? What happens in your body? See if you can pause, just for a breath or two, and offer yourself the permission to feel without needing to fix or explain it.
If you’d like support in exploring this process further, therapy can provide a safe space to sit with your feelings and begin to understand the stories they carry.
