When Your Art Is Never Enough: The Past That Sits Behind Perfectionism

For some of us, achievement was never just achievement. It was safety.

Perhaps praise was conditional.

Perhaps love felt more available when you excelled.

Perhaps you learned early that being impressive, talented, useful, or exceptional kept you connected.

When that’s the emotional template, art becomes more than expression. It becomes a negotiation.

If it’s brilliant, maybe I’m secure.

If it moves them, maybe I matter.

If it’s flawless, maybe I won’t be criticised or left.

The problem is that art, like relationships, can’t reliably heal attachment wounds on its own.

No matter how much you pour in, it can’t finally resolve the original ache.